I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
