That's when you crack a 10am beer
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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