And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
