So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
