They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize