I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
