O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
