Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
