..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
