You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize