Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
