What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We need to rekindle our bromance
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
