Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
