my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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