Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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