After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish life had little blips of pornography
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
