i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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