I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
