I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
