You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
