I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
