So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
