SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
