You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
