That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
