Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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