I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
