im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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