Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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