Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
