I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
