Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i think i just lost a toe
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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