Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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