The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
