I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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