Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
sarcasm needs its own font
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Randomize
