I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
