that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
