You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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