I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
