then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
