I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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