FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We left the knife in your bed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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