you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
