You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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