ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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