sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
