He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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