On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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