Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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