Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
