white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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