Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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