i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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