we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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