Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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