Do you still have your period?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
