I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
