What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
